I hate to admit defeat. But the white flag has gone up and I surrender. I cannot do it all. I thought I could hold onto my one triathlon race of the season but yesterday I finally realized that as a new, first-time mom, I'm actually in quadrathlon training (the swim, bike, run, raise a baby) and my training is decidedly and appropriately lopsided. So I'm out for this season.
Joining the local triathlon community and racing last year was a life-changing experience for me. I've never trained with such focus and intensity for an athletic goal in my life and I learned that I could do it. But looking back on it I realize that it really consumed me. In a good way, but friends will remember all I talked about, dreamed about, worried about was my swim stroke. I still worry about my swim stroke but the same drive that had me in the pool 4 days a week (as well as running and cycling 3-4 days a week) has been redirected to my infant son. Try as I might (and God knows I still need to work on my swim) I just can't maintain that focus on both at this time. Things will change in the fall when Timmy goes into childcare a few days a week.
Until then, I'm just going to swim, bike and run for the "fun of it". Not that it wasn't fun before, I'm just removing the race pressure. If I can find a road race that works with my schedule--great. If not, no sweat. The key will be to keep getting out there without the race goal motivation.
But don't be surprised if you see me volunteering at athlete check in at the 70.3 or working a water station on some local road race--I still want to cheer on all of the amazing folks racing this season. You just may see me, with Timmy in the baby jogger or on my back--grinning ear to ear and anticipating the 2012 season.